Monogamy or Polygamy???

Monogamy or Polygamy???

Monogamy

It is defined as marriage with only one person. In the society, one is expected to stay with that one person for better or for worse, in sickeness and in health, (or the usual litany).

Polygamy

Defined as having more than one spouse. This one raises a lot of eyebrows, not to mentioned being frowned upon the society.

And there is one more issue with marriages that i unexpectedly found: infidelity.

If i were your typical woman, and i married a Korean man, i would have been divorced by now. Korean men are sweet, that much is a given, but not after getting married. They tend to be just that: husbands. They don't give much affection, they don't praise, they don't say anything, much less try and make you feel better. (no, not complaining about my husband)

While trying to find more materials with my usual research, i came across this issue. Married men looking for a "girlfriend" somewhere, anywhere. I asked (yeah, still no inhibitions here) why they would do that, even after marriage.

"Just for fun."

And that poses danger. A single woman to be tangled with a married man is not a very good idea. It's not even socially acceptable. Call me a prude, but i would recommend fishing the bachelors than fishing the pond of married men. However, infidelity works both ways.. even married women tend to go out and have some extra fun. But usually, in their case, they tend to be caught in a tangled emotional web. Apathy is not something that works well with women who have sex... (as far as my observation goes.)

Inhibitions are what usually hold back single men and women. They tend to focus on what is socially acceptable. Infidels just go. They have fun. They usually have no strings attached, and the married men can usually lure girls (and women) better than bachelors. I've seen a very unfortunate-looking man bragging about a mistress he has.

But what is defined as infidelity?

The most obvious on the mark is physical intimacy: sex. Having sex with another partner is considered infidelity. So that makes it all out... but what about making out? or a blowjob or munching grasses? or simply groping another person? is that considered cheating? or just rules made by the society?

There's a dark secret in the Filipino community in Korea. First fact is that it is very difficult to get a visa here. Unless marrying a Korean National or has a relative (married to a Korean), then chances of getting here is very good. If not... it's a needlehole.. so you'd see mostly women.

There are very few Filipino men here who has a clear status. But some of them are here and they are mastresses of some Filipina women married to Korean men. And we can't blame them. I just stated a few facts about Korean men. Make it twice as difficult when the couple cannot really converse. Make it more disgusting when the woman has a hidden agenda (like wanting to own a language school, or buying her own property in the Philippines, and discarding their husbands along the way)...

There is another form of infidelity, and that is being emotionally intimate. When a man is talking to another woman (not his wife) about his secrets, his hopes, his dreams, his frustrations, the works. When a woman speaks of her innermost thoughts to any man.. (so i guess that makes me an infidel?!) HOLD IT. no defense... i have no inhibitions. =)

So what constitutes infidelity? Lack of emotional support? Lack of physical intimacy? or just a feel. An adrenaline rush to married men? experiment? coincidence? persistency? attraction?

Or maybe i should find more answers before pursuing through...